“My Absolute Darling” by Gabriel Tallent

TRIGGER WARNING: This book contains graphic depictions of sexual assault and/or violence which may be triggering to survivors.

I’m not gonna lie, I initially bought My Absolute Darling because I liked the cover art and thought it would look nice on my windowsill bookshelf. I 100% judge books by their covers. I barely even read the description. What I was not expecting was for this book to have a story just as striking as its cover. To the five or six of you who actually read this blog, you might have noticed most of the books I read tend to be science fiction, fantasy, things that are completely unreal brought to life. With My Absolute Darling, the horror is real. Still a work of fiction, but probably some of the most disturbing stuff I’ve ever read in my life. And I loved it.

Turtle Alveston is tough as nails. She rules the woods of Northern California, raised in quasi-isolation since the passing of her mother by her survivalist father, Martin, and occasionally her grandfather. While she spends most of her time deep in the woods in her family’s secluded cabin, she still attends middle school. It is a place she truly hates, where her survivalist attitude dissolves and she is left slow and struggling, both academically and socially. My Absolute Darling is Turtle’s coming of age story, but what stood out to me was the idea that she was not just coming of age, she was becoming aware. Because she was raised by her father removed from society, Turtle has no idea what it means to be loved in a healthy, positive way. She does not understand friendship. She does not understand other women. She doesn’t understand that her life is far from normal. When she meets Jacob and begins to understand what it means to have a friend and what a healthy relationship looks like, things change for Turtle. She starts to imagine her escape from her father – an escape she may or may not survive.

This book has been met with quite a bit of criticism and I think it’s all about what you’re expecting to get out of it. Bitch Media described it as “The Most Sexist Book of 2017” and gave it a scathing review. I definitely didn’t interpret it that way, but I guess that’s up to the reader. It’s not a book about changing the lives of young women, it’s not a book about empowerment through survival. It’s a gritty book about a young girl with a shitty life and a sexist dad. It’s not about to make some huge political statement, so if that’s what you’re looking for, keep searching.

I really do think this book was amazing. Horrible, beautiful, and amazing. Again, it’s not for the faint of heart. I think one of the huge successes of this book was the way Tallent lets the reader understand what’s going through Turtle’s head in times of intense abuse. As someone who luckily has never had to experience anything even remotely close to that, I found it heartbreaking and enlightening.